I’m no fan of murder. I understand why. (You don’t have to be a hypnotherapist or NLP practitioner to understand why.) I understand why Cassidy, the Irish guy with an Irish accent, had just killed the American guy.
And moments after the murder, I see Cassidy. He’s sitting on his bed, holding a crack pipe. He lights it up, and he smokes some crack.
Now as I watch him smoke, I understand he’s simply numbing his pain, the pain from killing a man he cared about, deeply.
Within moments of his first puff, his friend, Tulip walks into his bedroom. These aren’t their exact words, but close enough.
Tulip: “Is that crack?”
Cassidy: “No… Look, what I do in my free time is my business.”
Tulip: “I know things have been rough, but I’m not going to mope around smoking crack. That’s a waste.”
Cassidy: “But it’s, (in a quieter tone) medicinal.”
This scene is one of my favorites from a TV show I watched recently. The pain of Cassidy for murdering someone alongside the line, “But it’s, medicinal.” Sad and funny.
= = = = = Addiction actually makes sense = = = = =
The TV show scene reminded me of my hypnotherapy clients suffering from addiction issues, from hard drugs, to cigarettes, to food.
Similar to why Cassidy smoked crack, many of my clients use a substance to numb their pain. To forget, even for a little while, is better than nothing. To feel good, even for a little while, is better than nothing.
We human beings don’t like feeling pain. We want to get rid of it. But if we can’t get rid of it, we’ll numb it. We need to self-soothe.
The real question is how do we soothe ourselves. And can we self-soothe in a healthier way.
Drugs, cigarettes, and food. Very popular ways to self-soothe. But all of us, in our own way, self-soothe.
When I worked at an investment bank, I noticed some people worked because they enjoyed it. But others worked hard, because they were self-soothing. They were running from something, and as long as they could put all their energy into their career, they could quiet that inner voice. They could numb their pain through work.
Some self-soothe by using anger, rage, or other strong emotions. Because as long as they can express strong emotion, they can cause enough turmoil and avoid having to face their demons.
Some self-soothe by getting overly invested in other people, whether friends, family, colleagues, or clients. If someone’s overly focused on others, they don’t have time to face their own fear and pain.
Some self-soothe by watching too much Netflix, by having a super busy social life, by always being busy with something. They avoid having moments of silence, because then the voices will emerge, and that’s scary. Better to be distracted.
Some self-soothe by constantly having drama swirling in their life. As long as there’s drama, they don’t have to face their fears. They’re too busy dealing with drama.
= = = = = How a compulsion turns off = = = = =
When my addiction clients first see me, they don’t have the power to stop themselves. When the compulsion takes over, it takes them over.
But as they deal with the emotional issues, as they do the work needed, the fear weakens. The pain weakens.
And as the fear and pain become smaller, guess what happens? The compulsion gets smaller, too. Sometimes the client has a light switch moment, when the compulsion gets turned off in a flash. For other clients, it’s more of a dimmer switch, when the compulsion fades away until it turns off.
Either way, once the compulsion is gone, all the energy they used to put into blocking fear and pain gets freed up. And now they have more energy to use for better things…
We all want to feel good. The real question is whether our current method is truly helping or truly hurting.
If you were to witness my addiction sessions, you might notice a pattern. You’d notice that each client has a different name, a different profession, a different life. But you’d also notice that they had something in common.
You’d notice that during hypnosis, each client’s subconscious mind says something similar, talking about fear and pain.
The subconscious wants to keep the compulsion, because it’s familiar, it’s what it knows. Getting rid of the compulsion is scary, at least at first.
And as you hear each subconscious mind speak, all 100 of them, it might dawn on you. If might dawn on you, that if I was seeing 100 clients, one after the other, that I’m not really seeing 100 clients with an addiction. I’m really seeing one client with 100 different faces.
If you’re sick and tired of fighting your compulsion, there’s another way. Instead of fighting, start uniting. Start uniting with your subconscious mind. Give your subconscious what it truly desires, and it will drop the compulsion.
What does it truly desire? Ah, go into hypnosis and find out. And if you need help with that, I know a guy.