Day 16 of 21: Country mouse. Update on insomnia.

Besides professional hypnotherapists, I’d say parents are also good at shaping beliefs.

My mom would hypnotize me, as all parents do, by repeating the same things over and over.

When I was a kid, teenager, and adult, my mom would often say, “You’re a country mouse… You’re too innocent… You trust people too much, and they’ll take advantage of you.”

Now, I’m not saying she was trying to hypnotize me. But when you’re a young kid, you can be greatly influenced by adults. Sometimes that influence makes a kid think, “Yes, I agree. I am that way.” And sometimes the influence makes the kid think the opposite, “Mom, you’re wrong.”

At some point, my mom’s unintentional hypnotic words had me thinking, “Mom, you’re wrong.”

Though she gave the same message hundreds, if not thousands, of times, of me being a country mouse, I attended a university in a big city, Los Angeles. After graduating, I lived in another big city, San Diego. After San Diego, I moved to San Francisco. Now I live next to San Francisco in a suburb, but I still work in San Francisco.

And along the way of living in big cities as an adult, sometime in my 30s (or was it 40s), my mom said, “Maybe you’re not such a country mouse anymore.”

It may have taken a few decades for her to realize it, but yeah, I’m a city mouse.

She was right about one thing. Along the way, I did trust people too much. And sometimes I did get taken advantage of. But not nearly as much as she feared. Maybe I didn’t get hurt so much, because her words had the opposite impact, almost protecting me.

And I still trust people, sometimes a bit too much at times. But I rarely get hurt because of it. That’s how I play the balance game, now.

By playing this way, I can be more free to trust, because I know I’ll rarely get hurt. That may seem mysterious on what I mean, and for now, I’ll leave it mysterious. I may address this in more detail in a future post if people ask.

= = = = = Update from the previous post = = = = =

If you read my last post, you know that I discovered that my staying up late was caused by my subconscious mind.

And in the last post, I shared the conversation we had in hypnosis. (If you haven’t read the last post, I’ll wait here until you finish. The next section will make more sense if you see it, first.)

Now you’re back. Okay, so you know that my subconscious liked my idea of holding hands, of keeping him safe, and of working as a team. For the last few weeks, I’d been sleeping around 1:00 AM, which is very late for me.

Well, tonight around 10:30 PM, I suddenly got really tired. That’s unusual. Then I remembered the deal we’d made, and I thought, “Huh, I wonder if this is my subconscious saying it’s okay to sleep.”

But I’d forgotten to finish writing and posting for my 21-day writing challenge, so I’ve been typing that up. But 10:30 PM was a great time to feel tired, and after I post this, I’m tired enough to sleep quickly. Subconscious mind, thank you for making me tired.

And I will keep my promise to you, to keep you safe, to make sure our actions on these projects are okay with you. Subconscious, you and I area a team. Always.

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