Okay, you’re back! In yesterday’s post, we had a mystery, and I asked two questions. But before we revisit yesterday’s post, I was just thinking about a day back in high school. (Names have been changed to protect privacy.)
I was in gym class, when all of a sudden, I hear yelling. “Shaun” is getting yelled at by a larger, more muscular kid, “Tim.” And Tim towers over Shaun, yelling racial slurs at Shaun.
Tim looks so angry that he could kill somebody. The gym teacher is just standing, watching. I think, “Coach, do something!” Looking back, if Coach had intervened, Coach might in the hospital or dead.
The entire class is silent as we all watch Shaun’s tears flowing down his face. Now I’m getting angry. I have no idea why Tim is yelling racial slurs, but this is wrong. This needs to stop.
I think, “I’m going to walk over there and end this.” But Fear whispers in my ear, “Hey, don’t get hurt or killed. Stay.” I listen to Fear.
So, I say nothing, Coach says nothing, the entire class says nothing. I hear Shaun whimpering, and now silence. It’s over, but I have relived that memory many times over the years. At first getting quite angry at Tim, sad about Shaun, and a bit angry at myself that I didn’t put a stop to it.
But as I got older, my anger faded, and more sadness came up for them both. I began to realize that Tim’s explosion was a signal of deep pain. It’s just too bad that Shaun bore the brunt of it that day. I hope Shaun was able to forgive, I hope Tim was able to let go of his anger.
Forgiving people has been a theme and challenge in my life. I’m better at it than I was, yet still room to improve, and I suspect I’ll be better at it for many years.
By this point, you may feel it’s been many years since the start of this post, so let’s return to the mystery and the two questions.
1. What is the point of my tea story?
2. And how can my tea story help Fiona?
Let’s analyze the tea story. I deliver that surface level story to engage Fiona’s attention. The surface level story can be on any topic.
How do I know this? Because I’ve experimented extensively over the years, I mean extensively, with different ways of using hypnotic stories.
As Fiona hears the tea story on the conscious level, the real magic is happening one level down on the second level. Her subconscious is absorbing the deeper meaning that’s hidden in the surface story.
What’s the deeper meaning? You may recall that the last dozen of Fiona’s girlfriends left her. Fiona unconsciously gave me the answer to this puzzle when I was chatting with her. What’s the answer?
Well, her issue is that her romance radar isn’t tuned properly. It keeps picking the wrong girlfriends, over and over and over, again. So the answer is to tune her romance radar, so it finds a better, more compatible, woman.
Unfortunately, I sense that the usual hypnosis tools won’t work for Fiona. Her subconscious mind is like a castle, and it will defend itself against the basic hypnotic suggestions.
How do I deliver the solution if her defenses are that strong?
I choose an approach that can bypass the strong defenses of her subconscious mind. I choose to use a hypnotic story, because the subconscious can’t easily defend itself against a silly story.
The subconscious is thinking, “William’s just telling me a story about tea. Who cares?” And the story gets past the castle walls, walking right across the drawbridge.
With this new information, if you go back and read the tea story from yesterday’s post, you’ll notice the story is really about Fiona learning to improve her dating radar. The story is helping her subconscious to see the deeper essence of each woman, not being fooled by surface level charm, so she can find the right partner.
I realize the idea of hypnotic stories is a deep subject, and we could spend days and days on it. But we’re at the end of the post, so if you have any questions or feedback, I’d love to get your comments.
The end.
It’s funny because your answer was my first thought, which I ignored and then went into “further analysis” mode, which I tend to do.
Mercedes, I think we’ve all ignored our instincts at times. I know I have.
Below is what a reader said. She’s given me permission to post it on her behalf.
= = = = = From a reader = = = = =
Love this: “Unfortunately, I sense that the usual hypnosis tools won’t work for Fiona. Her subconscious mind is like a castle, and it will defend itself against the basic hypnotic suggestions.”
Your solution to scaling the castle walls is so simple and effective. Much better than “stop doing that,” which is what most people would basically say. We all have moats, fences, and stone walls. I learned a lot from your posts on how to use a story to deliver a message in a way that actually makes it past the impediments that you know are there.
Your story about Shaun was so different as a lead-in to the conclusion about Fiona. It’s very powerful, but I don’t see the connection between the two stories. Would be interested in knowing why you put that first. Another subconscious, hypnotic technique?
And here’s how I answered that reader. I’ve pasted my answer below.
= = = = = My answer to the reader = = = = =
You’re right; the Shaun story is so different than the Fiona conclusion.
The jarring transition (or no transition) creates confusion, and confusion is a useful state to create. When the client is confused, it gives what I do next more impact, or at least more potential for impact.
A smooth transition can also be a useful tool, but I didn’t use it here.
How would Fiona’s subconscious know that tea = potential girlfriend(s)? Must you hear her issue then immediately go into a hypnotic story? Is there a window of time in which you must place the story?
Tamiko, I’m sorry about my late response. The subconscious mind interprets stories in a way that the conscious mind does not.
There’s no guarantee that Fiona’s subconscious will understand the story as I intended. But a well-crafted story will likely do the job, even if her subconscious interprets things a bit differently.
In this story, I’d say it’s highly likely Fiona will understand my intended message.
Another strategy I sometimes use is to tell a less targeted story, one that could have many interpretations, knowing that the subconscious will choose the right one with less direction from me.
As for your question on me hearing the issue and going immediately into a hypnotic story, I don’t always do that. Sometimes I’ll gather more data, sometimes I feel I have enough to tell a story right now.
There is no window of time required. I tell the story when I feel it’s time.