Day 8 of 21: Who throws the first punch

Who would throw the first punch, my adult friend or the taller teenager? By the way, this story takes place in San Diego many ago before I became a hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner in San Francisco.

At the time, one of my friends had a quick temper. And we were just four friends, in our 20s, 30s, 40s, hanging out on the beach. I don’t recall details, but I think we were waiting for our table at the nearby bar and grill. And since the wait was long, we just waited at the beach.

Then a large group of male and female teenagers walk by.

And suddenly, my friend is about to get into a fight with a male teenager. I think the teenager had done something that made my friend angry.

Now they’re facing off, ready to fight. My brain quickly calculates our odds.

Our team: four male adults who “punch” a timeclock, not punch people.
Their team: a few females, and more than four males. Assuming just the males fight, they outnumber us, are quicker, stronger, and will likely win.

As the tension mounts between my friend the and teenager, a fear comes up. No matter who wins, people on both sides could get badly hurt. And I didn’t want to see anyone get hurt.

During a short teenager period, I was a rage-a-holic. If my old self was here, on the beach right now, he’d be the first to say let’s fight.

But as a peaceful adult, right now I just wanted the teenagers and my friends to be safe.

Then fear #2 pops up. Was there still a bit of rage inside me? And if we did battle, would the rage consume me and cause me to hurt these people?

I knew only one option. So, I stepped in, calmed them both down, and the teenagers left.

Now, my friend angrily accused me of being a chicken, not wanting to get hurt.

Today, all these years later, if you ask him why William didn’t allow the fight to start, I bet he’d say, “William was a chicken.”

And in a way, my friend was right. I was a chicken. But scared of seeing people get hurt, being in pain. And most of all, I was scared of being the one inflicting the pain.

Now a question for you. The surface level story is pretty clear. But if you were to guess how someone’s subconscious (or even your subconscious) could interpret this story, what might it get from the story? I’m curious to hear your thoughts.

Oh, and rather than try to analyze the story with your conscious mind, just read the story a couple of times. Then as you go on about your day, let your subconscious hand you an opinion when you least expect it. Less effort means a better outcome when it comes to the subconscious giving you information.

6 thoughts on “Day 8 of 21: Who throws the first punch”

  1. I actually don’t get the message of a chicken; rather a wise young man. Perhaps because I might have fought; maybe not physically, but verbally. Also, being a verbal battle ax and learning to walk away have been struggles of mine.

    • Mercedes, learning to walk away has been a struggle of mine, as well. In the story, I could walk away. But there have been other times during a verbal conflict in which I stayed to fight, verbally. Now, less of that, as I’m less interested in verbal fighting. I do enjoy true discussion and thoughtful, respectful arguing.

  2. I tried to come up with a subconscious interpretation but couldn’t. So as advised, I tried to let my subconscious work on it and thought about the story the next day on waking up, and what immediately came to mind was: fear (an emotion seen as a negative one that causes pain), turned out to have a positive outcome in this case, turned out to provide the impetus for good.
    I don’t know if that would be my subconscious talking, or rather a receptivity to the message you might be trying to impart. The message seems to be that rather than avoid or suppress our fears and other emotions that cause us pain (in my case anxiety), we should become aware of and identify these emotions as they arise, and use this awareness to guide our actions. In the story, you became aware of your fears that people would get hurt and that you wouldn’t be able to control your rage, and this led to the only possible action in your mind, that of trying to calm down both sides.

    • Madeleine, if you have a thought upon waking up, there’s a good chance it’s from your subconscious mind. It can easily gives us messages as we’re waking up or right when we wake up. And when you talk about whether it’s your subconscious talking or a receptivity to my message, that’s kind of the same thing. When we become more receptive to a message, that’s our subconscious becoming more receptive. You are one person, and like a coin with two sides, you are your conscious self and subconscious self. You’re not separate from your subconscious; you are your subconscious + your conscious self.

  3. After reading Day 9, I’m thinking that my response to Day 8 was still my analytical mind dissecting the story, so a second level of interpretation, not the subconscious, 3rd level. The night after reading Day 8, I dreamt that one of my adult children was back to being a baby and had a high fever (which never did happen to him in reality). I put the old-fashioned mercury thermometer in his mouth to take his temperature, then somehow got distracted and started walking outside. As soon as I realized what I had done, I walked back, but found the thermometer broken and leaking a black fluid, and someone else holding my child. He seemed to be over his high fever, but no longer seemed to have a coherent mind. Could this dream be my subconscious responding to the story and bringing up my ongoing fear and anxiety that actions I took or failed to take when my children were growing up, could still be impacting them in their adult life in negative ways?

    • Madeleine, in response to your second post: it may be more your analytical mind, possibly. At the same time, your analytical mind and your subconscious mind do work together. My point in letting your subconscious come up with an answer is that when it comes to hypnotic stories, you get more insights if you allow answers to emerge rather than put too much effort into thinking of answers. So the analytical part of you can be involved, but assisting your subconscious.

      Your dream may be a response to the story and your ongoing fear of past actions. It’s hard to say with very little data. To get that info, it’d be better to go into hypnosis and chat with the subconscious.


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