Why do we succeed or fail? (Part 1)

Have you ever wondered why people succeed in one area of life but struggle in a different area? Then keep reading. In the hypnosis world, some change models help people to quit smoking, lose weight, get rid of insomnia, etc.

A change model explains what elements are needed for success and what elements block success. By learning a model, it becomes easier to succeed.

Soon I’ll present a general model of change.

Knowing it may help you answer the question, “Why can I succeed easily in this area of life, and why do I struggle in this other area?” To make things more concrete, let’s meet some people.

Meet Wilma and Fred, a middle-class couple who live next door to Betty and Barney.

Soon there will be an election to choose a new leader at Fred’s social club (i.e., his lodge). Many of the members like Fred and have encouraged him to run.

Fred thinks, “Wow, over half the lodge wants me to run. I’m honored.” He humbly announces his candidacy. Fred doesn’t campaign at first, because he thinks, “Why waste the effort?”

After the first month, Rocco, a fairly new member, announces his candidacy.

Fred thinks, “Rocco doesn’t have a chance, but maybe I need to campaign.” Fred starts talking to members about their dreams for the lodge. He connects with his lodge members so they’ll vote for him.

He recruits his friend, Barney, to be his volunteer campaign manager, and offers Barney all the pizza he can eat.

During the next few weeks, Fred makes the same mistakes over and over again.

He shows up late to his meetings, and when members share their opinions, Fred rudely dismisses their opinions. And Fred just doesn’t work very hard at getting votes.

Barney finally says, “Fred, I’ve got to say it. Some members are grumbling that you’re late to meetings, and they think that’s disrespectful. They’re unhappy about you dismissing their opinions. I think you need to be more careful about time and be open to their ideas.”

Fred fires Barney from his campaign team.

Guess who wins? Rocco wins in a landslide.

Fred becomes introspective and wonders, “Did I run a bad campaign? I didn’t think being late would offend so many people. And I wasn’t dismissing their opinions; I was just being honest. Maybe I didn’t work hard enough.”

Then Fred thought, “Maybe I’m too close to this. Somehow I lost people along the way. Maybe I did something wrong. I need to talk to Barney.”

Fred apologizes to Barney for firing him as campaign manager.

Barney forgives him and says, “Fred, you’re my best friend. But you went from being Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde. What happened?”

Fred said, “I felt like I couldn’t help it. I just couldn’t show up on-time. And I don’t know why I kept dismissing the opinions of everyone. I would have won if I’d just been myself.” Barney replied, “I’m glad you’re back to normal. Don’t ever be Mr. Hyde, again.”

How did Fred become a jerk?

During junior high, he ran for class president. He gave it his all, but he lost by a landslide. His young subconscious mind then said, “I worked so hard and lost! I never want to feel this pain again!” Young Fred wasn’t consciously deciding. The decision was made in complete secret by his subconscious mind.

Fred’s junior high election played a big role in the lodge election.

Fred didn’t consciously realize that he had an internal battle raging inside of him. Part of him wanted to win the election. But a stronger part of him didn’t want to risk feeling the pain of junior high.

So what did that stronger part do? It made sure that Fred couldn’t do his best. That part figured that if Fred doesn’t do his best, then he can’t be too upset about losing. Fred can always say he would have won if he’d just tried a little harder.

That may not sound logical to you, but it makes perfect sense in the subconscious world.

What does Fred’s story have to do with the model of change?

In part two, I’ll share the actual model using numbers and simple math. After reading about it, you may solve a mystery or two about your own life. And you may see the world in a very different way.

If you’re wondering if Fred’s junior high experience affected other areas of his life, I’ll reveal that answer in part two. So stay tuned!

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